Funny horoscope cancer

Not even your friends, not even the moon, not even your boss, not even yourself. When you look in this new way, which lines start to straighten, and which ones bend?

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Remember the stories of the people who came before you, powerful and strange. This is a week for some kind of memory — for bearing witness to the past, or for committing the present to memory, for holding your knowledge tightly so that you can carry it with you into the future. The seasons are changing, and the days are becoming bright again, strange again, clear again.

The sun shines down on the rooftops, it shines down on the trees, and it shines down on you, warm and gentle. Believing what you want to believe can be dangerous sometimes, a way to lose touch with the solid world around you, a way to forget everything but yourself. This is a way to reject the poisonous stories that move through the air.

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Check out your Funny Horoscope July , and the outlook for all those jerks you know — right here! Do something outside of the house for your Birthday!

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Leo Females — do not wear shorts that express camel toes. May cause depression, death, and big toe pain.

Void where prohibited. After all, there are even support groups for real survivors of shark attacks.

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The good news is that you always have a bit of time to jump back in your delusions before you go totally brain dead. It was discovered in Enjoy this Funny Horoscope July , and please share! The following two tabs change content below.

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  • Bio Latest Posts. Jennifer Hollie Bowles is a writer and small business owner. She has been studying Astrology for about twenty years, but she finds limiting it to sun signs quite humorous.